Growing up I never imagined being a mother, nor having a family at 21. Kids usually freaked me out, and vice versa. It wasn't until I met my husband that i slowly began to reconsider having a baby. I was terrified nonetheless.
"What if my own baby doesn't like me? What if I can't handle him? What if I do a terrible job?" These were all questions that would haunt me at night. But my sweet husband would constantly reassure me that, no matter the outcome he will always be there by my side. He really has been and continue to be my rock. I love you baby.
Once my gorgeous baby boy was born, everything I thought I knew about myself was flipped. I learned that I didn't need 12 hours of sleep to function, I could make do with 5. There's no such thing as sleeping like a rock anymore. The first few months were rough, I won't lie. But I miss them so much.
As I sit here flipping through Anthony's 2 month old pictures; I wonder if I could build a time machine to revisit those quiet moments.
I know every mother I've come across has commented on how important it is to enjoy these "baby" moments. It just has taken me so long to acknowledge that my baby is no longer completely helpless, no longer has a gummy yummy smile. He has 8 chompers now, I'm grateful he can chew his food, not so much my nips though -_- . I no longer sport spit up on my clothing; instead now it's food.
Does that mean he's no longer my baby?
No sir, he'll still be mine until he's 30.
He holds such an important part in my heart, that I realize I wasn't fully living prior to having him. His presence actually gives me a tingling sensation, and no its not adult numbness. I feel as though my heart burst and I can't help but smile grandiose when he's so concentrated on discovering new things.
He's my world and I'm so happy you helped me bring him into it.
Thank you for everything A.
Jasmin.
No comments:
Post a Comment